at the pool,
on hot summer days,
we tucked our bodies tight
beneath the crystal surface
to see who could
hold their breathe the longest
and i know johnny
must have cheated,
he stayed down
so long...
the first kiss
we shared
would have
broke the record,
passing a single breath
back and forth
between us,
happily drowning.
26 comments:
Oh wow! That is romantic in the extreme! Bravo, Brian. Bravo!
"happily drowning" - I just loved those words because the image was so perfect with it and those two words aren't usually uttered in the same breath. Underwater kisses are neat and would be even more so as a first one :)
yeah that first kiss worth drowning over
great for One Stop - Nice Bri
Brian...?
I think I love you....G
Just want to thank all the people who come to One Stop each week. We appreciate you!!!!
I love the image that this has given me.
So romantic!
me, i am a big romantic fool...this is a simple...write it while we were at the pool on saturday watching all the kids play...ok, so i was playing as well...smiles.
g-man...i love you too...lol.
Makes one crave for a sultry one... sigh
Brian, This is beautiful and supported by a terrific photo. Thank for bringing it to us.
All the best, Boonsong
very nice, Brian...the words and the photo :)
Oh I love it!!!
Nice idea to compare a first kiss with boys games - and underwater image and drowning - and having no breath left and giving it that endless feeling - honestly - love it - and for sure - it's heartbreaking romantic
Great confluence of feelings and ideas depicting the transition from childhood game to coming of age. Excellent, Bri!
loved the idea of this piece Brian,intriguing and i relate to the emotion..well done my friend!
last line is a hit! ;)
great share with One stop..:)
Brian...you and Johnny??? Care to share something? Seriously, great first kiss post. They do inspire, don't they?
haha. no monkey...i did not kiss johnny...oh, i need to be a bit more clear in my writing...smiles.
I love the idea of
one Stop Poetry. Will watch for a while and then join in, if I may? Any rules for One Stop Wed eg length, subject, etc.?
Brian, love your work and first kiss made me feel so nostalgic!
aaahhhh...
a kiss like that would be worth drowning for!
hey...i'm actually going to have a submission this week!! :-) lol
thanks for stopping by and saying "Hi".
smiles,
Again I ask, are you absolutely POSITIVE you do not have a twin brother to marry my little sister?!?!?
You are such a romantic guy! This is perfect.
Cheers, jj
this was so romantic
and full of imagery
great wed poem
First kiss rocks...
Romantic
I enjoyed this. Kind of resonates with some memories. - Bill
"passing a single breath
back and forth "
nice! :)
I must say this is a very lovely, beautiful poem. Great ending.
One word...B R I L L I A N T!! So much passion in this. Fantastic image to compliment the poem so very well. Thanks for sharing :)
what a wonderful poem Bri...now that really has got my mind thinking....if i could tell you the story of my early life you would be enjoying my thoughts too LOL
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